Dominatrix
Carrie had an abusive childhood; as a result, she dislikes men to the point of loathing. Now, as a highly paid dominatrix she abuses men instead – for cash! She has sex with them too, but always under her total control where she is always in charge. Now, tiring of what has become mere routine, she seeks a young man, barely of legal age, almost a boy, innocent and unsullied by life, someone she can mould and train to meet her needs.
She meets Adam, someone she feels has the desired attributes she craves. She is surprised, he isn’t what she expected and everything now changes. Is her current lifestyle about to end and will her next client be the last? An uncompromising, short, sadistic story with more than a hint of love and romance.
Dominatrix by Sadie Stern. Available on Amazon. Check it out on Goodreads too.
An excerpt;
I realised all that savagery, hostility towards men, my sense of needing revenge against anyone with a penis was gone. I didn’t want that man Thomas in my home. Even though I’d rarely allowed the skin-to-skin contact of a man’s cock against my vaginal wall, having worn a condom each and every time, the symbolism of the act of penetration was still there. I could refuse Adam visual access to that moment, but he’d still know. Something I now wanted to be strictly and unequivocally his, would have been violated by a stranger who had paid me to beat him – to fuck him. I shivered when I realised what that made me. I was troubled, so much so I got up. I went to the kitchen and sat; I opened a bottle of something far stronger than Pinot Grigio. It was a neat single malt.
‘You, okay?’ Adam’s voice made me jump. I was deep in thought, and I hadn’t expected the silence to be broken.
‘Yes, I’m fine, go back to bed, I’ll be up soon.’
‘People aren’t fine when they drink alone at 3am Carrie. Especially that stuff.’ He persisted.
‘I said I’m fine!’ I snapped.
‘You having doubts, like second thoughts?’ I could see he wasn’t going to be fobbed off.
‘Far from it, you’re the easy bit.’ I replied.
‘Okay, so tell me about the hard bit.’
‘You’d better sit down you’re distracting me!’ I realised I was getting drunk. He took a seat in front of me; his distraction having disappeared. ‘At 11am today I have a guy called Thomas arriving. Until yesterday morning when you arrived, I would have got up at around 7am, showered, sat here and eaten breakfast then got into my Dom gear and prepared for his arrival. I imagine he would arrive, I would have taken him upstairs, beaten shit out of him then tied him down again face side up and fucked him. I would have fucked HIM!’ I took a sip of whisky which allowed him time to speak.
‘You said until I arrived?’ I put the glass down and to my surprise Adam picked it up and took a sip himself. It took his breath away. I could see another first for him.
‘Yes, you see everything has changed. Everything that has happened since. Your initial interview, the guy that followed and everything that happened last night has let up to this. Us sitting here.’ He frowned.
‘Sorry, I don’t follow.’
‘Until I met you my entire focus was my resentment towards men. I’d been systematically raped by the very person who should have protected me most. My father. He beat me too, that has had its own lasting effect of leaving me with low esteem and a degree of self-hatred. Unbelievably, although I have a body I have tried to hone to perfection I also have a deep loathing towards it. From the moment you left this house earlier, then meeting you in Bogarts and then back to here again and everything that happened last night, so much of my damaged past has melted away. Okay, I know I can’t erase it, but I feel I’ve forgiven myself for being who I was. I know I haven’t got anything to forgive myself for, but that isn’t how it works. I took my self-hatred out on those men who arrived. Now I have the first arriving in just over seven hours, and I don’t think I can do this any more. Even the thought of you watching I can’t cope with, because I’m not sure how you will judge me while I’m doing what I’ve done hundreds of times before. Even more so afterwards, when you’ve allowed it to sink in. Worst still, is the thought of me fucking this man, who I would have done with relish two days ago. He would have paid expecting me to beat him but also to fuck him too. I realise only too well what that makes me.’ I stopped. I’d let it out, well, much of it anyway, there was still something else I dreaded asking.
Younger man, older woman, erotic romance